The Great Bear Guides Me

A few nights ago, unable to sleep, I decided to get up and try to shake off the turmoil that seemed to be clamoring for attention. As I walked through the house, on my way to the kitchen for a drink of water, I paused at the living room window and looked out at the night sky. I saw the Big Dipper cradled between the trees lining the driveway. And I remembered the very first time I saw it.

I must have been about five. I'm standing outside, at the corner of our house - it's summer or early fall - when someone -  my dad, a sibling, a cousin -  points it out to me, tracing it with their finger. I have trouble seeing it, seeing what he's pointing to. It takes time for my small eyes to connect the dots. But when I do, in that moment, life changes. The world becomes a world of wonder. I don't just feel it anymore, I see it;  I see possibilities, patterns, the beginning of interconnectedness, a pivotal moment in my life.

Throughout my life, when struggling with some issue, trying to get a handle on its emotional vagaries, I have felt led to step outside and look up at the night sky, to stand there until I feel calm and connected. Last summer, when I first returned to Minnesota, I stayed for a while at a friends home, a home which consists of two geodesic domes side-by-side. It was a wonderful place to get my bearings (Second pun. Is someone keeping track?) and to await further direction for my life. One night, unable to sleep, I walked downstairs, went outside, and stood on the deck. My eyes landed on a bright light off to my left in the night sky, which I lingered on for a long moment. I then traced with my eyes other bright lights in the night sky, one after another across the bowl of purple night, and then I stood in silence for a minute, grateful for the peace that had descended on me. As I turned to go back inside, I looked up once again, and there, resting between the two domes, was the Big Dipper.

On this recent night, I felt a nudge, calling me to go outside. I listened, walked out into the night air and stood barefoot on the grass; a warm breeze was blowing, the Big Dipper, settling between the trees, offered silence. Having looked at the clock just before stepping outside, I knew it was just after midnight. I felt another nudge, asking me to look over my left shoulder. And there it was.

My wash. I had forgotten about it and left it out on the line.

So, around midnight, I'm out under the stars, taking my clothes off the line, the Big Dipper, over my right shoulder, keeping me company. Life fell into place, my mind fell into silence, my heart fell into gratitude.

As I walked back to the house, my arms full of clothes, I breathed deeply the fresh air that filled them with the innate goodness of simplicity. In the kitchen, I stopped at the sink to get a drink of water, then went back to bed. The breeze coming through my window softly moved the curtains as I fell into a deep peace; the Great Bear, once again,  had shown me the way.

The Big Dipper is in the Great Bear constellation, which resides in Galaxy M101, pictured here. The Universe continually fills me with wonder.