When I was very young, I attended a church that suddenly began to have a call to the altar every single Sunday. For the unenlightened, a call to the altar is where you repent of your sins, accept Jesus as your personal savior and become "born again." Even then, it left me cold and disturbed, something I've posted about before. I couldn't understand the need for it. I was somewhere around six years old when it started. How bad could I have been?
Perhaps it was the time I spilled nail polish remover all over my sister's 45 records, erasing any hint of artist or title. Hey, accidents happen. Or, it could have been the summer I didn't want to take the time to walk to the outhouse and so went behind the house, and when confronted with the evidence I lied. I suppose I could have been a tad more sorry about running through the living room, through the doorway of our bedroom, jumping on the bed until the springs broke. The picture tells how we dealt with that. Yeah, that's me sitting on the broken bed springs with sisters Jane and Chris above me.
Perhaps I've divulged too much.
Eventually, we learned the reason for the incessant altar calls; the truth was revealed but didn't necessarily set anyone free. Unless it did. Turns out, the pastor's wife was having an affair with the head deacon, so the pastor decided to make us all pay for their "sins." But, a call to the altar every single Sunday, holding up closing time? That was payment enough for this country kid.
Since then, I listen to Leonard Cohen instead. He's the only preacher I need. Now, some might think repentance is in order when they hear this song. What can I say, it makes me want to dance. To paraphrase what he says at the end, "Cheerfulness keeps breaking through." Here's Brother Leonard with "The Future."
He wrote this song in 1992. Sounds pretty prophetic to me.
"Holding up closing time." Too funny.
ReplyDeleteI was "saved" at 7 years old so I get what you're saying here Teresa.
Yeah, and look where it got us? :)
DeleteRaised a Catholic, I confessed every Saturday night. Now just what all could a 7 yr old do so bad in a week???? I'd rather dance to Lenard Cohen... :) How much fun!!!!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it great to dance to? I love it. He's so cool.
DeleteLoved your story..
ReplyDeleteat about 7 I finally realized what the protestants had against the catholics. the P's had service from 11 till the Preacher wrapped it up but the C's could go to mass at 8 ,9, or 10 which meant they only stood in a really short, quickly moving line at K n W cafeteria.. lol
Sonny, I don't know who you are, all incognito, but welcome! The hard part was never knowing when he was going to wrap it up. More ego, than salvation there, seems to me. Glad you liked my story and I hope you return.
DeleteShould you return, please illuminate:
K n W?
I think your escapades were typical of most children -- your photo is cute -- love old family photos -- barbara
ReplyDeleteIt's only slightly embarrassing.... :)
DeleteWe were country folk.
I had a hard time with stepping up, but did sometimes too consul the fallen.I hated seeing the tears.Lovely tune, I haven't listened to ny of his stuff for a long time.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, we're crying for different reasons than are perceived by those nearby. And guilt induced tears need to be dried quickly.
DeleteI love that title "dancing on broken bed springs" How often i have felt that way in my faith life. And then I'm reminded I'm loved anyway and no one needs me to come to the altar.
ReplyDeleteOh, I love your response. Exactly. Love is omnipresent! So good to see you!
DeleteHej Teresa! A lovely and funny story. Love the photo with you happy girls. I've got an old sofa which need to be replaced and I've just sprung a spring the other day! ( okay grammar?)
ReplyDeleteI have never tried to be saved! I would rather dance than all this repenting. Actually I think it was wrong of that pastor to order this from kids. What do kids know about being so serious. They love to have fun and have a good time - not listening to all that preaching.
Thanks for Leonard Cohen.
Hello to you and wruff to Buddy
Grethe ´)
Hi Grethe! I was just thinking of you and here you are! It's just fine to have sprung a spring.... :)
DeleteDancing has definitely been preferable for me, as well. But, there's a lot of money to be made in the business of saving souls, and there's a lot of dysfunctional human behavior in it, as well. I'm glad to hear you've managed to avoid that nonsense.
Buddy sends warm greetings to his friend in Denmark!
I was "saved" in the eighth grade. I was conned by the Sunday School teacher.
ReplyDeleteThese days, I'm content without the saving. I'm sure the man who walked the water and calmed the sea would understand.
"Conned by the Sunday School teacher." Sorry, but I'm laughing! It's just all so insane, isn't it?
DeleteYes, I think J would understand perfectly. What was it that Mark Twain said? "If Jesus was here right now, the one thing he would not be is a Christian." It's an idea that has gone horribly awry.
I think that minister must have been a sick, twisted man. I shudder to think what retributions he imposed on the poor wife!
ReplyDeleteA sad scene all the way around.... :(
DeleteYour childhood sounds so inviting! That you were not close to perfect makes you all the more human. Pretty funny thinking about how much fun you had. And the call to the alter? Classic. Thanks for the tune, forgot about this one.
ReplyDeleteWild Bill, Your response makes for a nice early morning gift. Yeah, it is my utter humanness that I am learning to embrace and in the process discovering myself all over again. It was fun then and it is even more so now. What a trip! I'm happy we're able to share in it together, here on planet Earth.
DeleteDear Teresa, I was one of those Catholics that "Sonny" mentions. So I didn't have the experience of being called to repent, but I did go to confession rather often and I hope to post about that soon because a truly funny story happened about the confessional!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the Leonard Cohen song. It does seem prophetic. And I so love that cheerfulness broke into his reading of philosophies. Ah yes! Peace.
Dee, I look forward to reading your story.
DeletePracticing cheerfulness seems like a better spiritual practice. :)
Amen!
ReplyDeleteAmen. :)
DeleteI was raised as a Methodist, and for a kid in the midwest, there was no better denomination. Their youth program rocked! Hayrides, taffy pulls, sledding, ice skating, caroling - even dances!
ReplyDeleteWhen I got older, it was a little thin for me. Life got stickier than the taffy we pulled and eventually I turned into a Lutheran. No altar calls for those folks, though. Since God had already done all that saving and redeeming business, the big question was, how are we going to live our lives? Dancing on bedsprings seems a perfectly reasonable response!
How I turned into a Methodist in the first place is really quite a story. It was grandma who did it, because of the KKK. That's one story I do need to write!
And I look forward to reading your story!
DeleteAh, the great Leonard, he has a slant on many things which suit me just fine.
ReplyDeleteAs catholics we weren’t called to the altar, we were made to confess our sins in secret session, in great detail. Perhaps that’s where I learned to tell stories. Just to please the priest I invented a few sins.
He does, indeed.
DeleteAlas, I didn't have to invent anything, but you did learn to tell a good story, that's for certain.
I love this post and I love the Cohen song.
ReplyDeleteMy mother was raised Catholic and she said that she left the church so that she wouldn't have to raise my sister and I with guilt and confession.
She said that she would have to make up stories to tell the priest of her sins.
Good grief... how religion can suck.
Yes, it certainly can. I love that more people are waking up to the reality of "religions," and becoming aware that they can follow their own path to understanding. Even Jesus said, (according to the Bible), "Work out your own salvation," and "The kingdom of heaven is within."
DeleteUsing the vernacular... Amen to this.
DeleteSing it, sister! :)
Delete