Friday, September 23, 2011

Dreaming on the Equinox


In my dream, I'm looking for some money I've misplaced. I thought it was here, somewhere, but I've traveled three roads and am still not sure I've found it. It seems to be tucked inside this bank bag along with some checks. I look through it. The checks are not mine, but I'm pretty certain the money is. It doesn't seem to be much, forty, maybe sixty dollars. I don't want to be thought a thief and so I hesitate. I think I should leave, go back, return on the same road I'd just been down. But when I look back, the road has narrowed. It's only a sandy trail with big rocks here and there, and bits of grass along the sides. It's traversable, but only by foot.

Then, you are there, telling me you'll help me find it. As you leave to look for it, the sun is shining down on you. I watch you go.

When you don't return, I go looking for you and find myself standing outside your office door. I knock, thinking the door is shut. But when I knock, it opens. You jump up, startled, not sure what to say. We don't say anything, but I know you've forgotten, forgotten that I've been waiting, that you said you'd help me look. A beige cable-knit cardigan is hanging over the back of your chair. I think, 'How odd,' it's not the kind of sweater you'd have worn before. The room is empty except for your computer on your desk, your chair, and a little side desk that sits beside it. Nothing hangs on the walls. No art, no memorabilia. They are gone. Only brown undistinguished paneling. No books resting where once the shelves were full. They are all gone. It's just you and your computer.

You look tired. You look older. You've lost a lot of weight. We stand there, silently looking at each other, the desk between us, not certain what to say. And then, you look away.









Image: Edward Hopper's  "Stairway at 48 rue de Lille Paris"

22 comments:

  1. How apropos, especially with your header! "It's all a great strange dream." I have been finding money lately. Looks as if you are too, starting with your dreams.

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  2. What an interesting dream. Finding money but not sure if it is yours, pathways narrowing behind you, people forgetting what they've said and changing on you...sounds like a lot going on. I haven't been remembering dreams lately. Makes me wonder if I should start writing them down again. They are a fascinating, and often confusing, journey. Sometimes windows for great insight. :)

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  3. What fascinates me is the vivid details dreams can have. How they are real/not real. I recognise the confusion and the emotions that dreams like yours brings.

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  4. I love this Hopper painting, but have never seen it before.

    "What a long strange trip it's been!" I have similar dreams Teresa, of people not coming back or else morphing into someone else. There's no going back that's for sure. :)

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  5. Hi Teri, I always think of money as what we hold of value. So, finding money equates with finding something of value. In this case, allowing it to be misplaced.... Finding real money. I think I need to work on that. :)



    Hi Rita, I haven't been remembering my dreams, either, for some time it was as if I wasn't dreaming at all, but I fell back to sleep around 4:30, right after the equinox, and this came in very clearly. Yes, some good insight.

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  6. Marilyn, It is amazing, how strong the details can be, it's as though it's all about the details sometimes. Strange what one can notice in a dream.



    Towanda, It's an unusual Hopper, isn't it? I've been looking at it for almost a year, thinking I might us it sometime. I like the darkness, the stairs. It felt like it should be in a dream, and I used to have dreams about stairs, endless flights of stairs.

    No, there's no going back, unless the going back is really going forward, and that can be tricky... :)

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  7. My dreams are not always easy to remember, but lately, they are. And they have been in daylight, whereas most of the dreams I've remembered clearly have been at night. I dream in vivid color, too. This dream is filled with significance, I wonder what it means... :-)

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  8. Sleep, and enter the journey of your soul spirit. The body is all that sleeps, but your true self travels, and returns when your body awakens. It is such an amazing 'vehicle' our human body, for now, as we can participate in this experience, our true selves cannot eat a peach, unable to walk on the surface or swim. All of the attributes that living in a physical realm can manifest for us. The physical mind is also amazing, complex in it's design, again, what a wonderful vehicle for our soul spirit to occupy...for a while." 'Somnambulistic sleep does bring us back in touch with the realm of the soul spirit, when we are aware of this, we can remember where the spirit goes, has gone and can realize 'past life' regressions by accessing our true self...memory."

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  9. Life is but a dream
    Within a dream unending,
    The dream is our life.

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  10. DJan, I have looked at this since believing I knew what it was about. I realize that dreams, like life, are many layered. We wonder into what we believe to be "true," but what is "true?" :)




    Mammoth Bill, As always your responses intrigue me and give me food for thought. Dreams within dreams and what is "truth?" Who are we "really?" The Great Mystery. As Raymond Carver said, in his poem, In Switzerland, "We are having a good time here. But hope all will be revealed soon." ;)






    Paul, "Life is but a dream." Good song.

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  11. I often wonder if my dreams are the consequence of who I am or if I am the consequence of my dreams. In any case, in all my dreams, I am inconsequential.

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  12. Hi Janice, I think everyone appears to be inconsequential in their own dreams. I'm usually just witnessing what's happening, and it's not of much significance except what I give it when I look at possible meanings.

    And for the record: you are definitely Not inconsequential. :) I hope you're having a great weekend! Hugs to you.

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  13. Cool. Spirit speaks to us in dreams. Or?

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  14. Hi Will! It's that "Or" that intrigues me to no end.

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  15. Sounds like the start of a good book I'd like to read. Hope you were able to go back to sleep to continue the journey...and that you'll write more about it. My dreams have been extremely vivid lately with visits from passed loved ones...freakin' me out a bit. Like the Hopper image.
    Have a great weekend. xo

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  16. Karena, Actually, I ended up getting out of bed. It was unsettling and I was left off-center all morning. I finally got straight about it somewhat, after I decided to go ahead and post about it.

    Dreams are interesting because I am always left wondering what they're really about, the person it appears they're about? Or is it really just about me, aspects of myself, as some dream analysts believe.

    If one of those visitors was your "deceased" husband, I can certainly understand....

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  17. And old friend of mine, an Englishman, was a dream- reader. I cannot ask him anymore about dreams, but I remember that if you dreamed about a desolate landscape without trees or anything then it meant that you had something important to do in your life. You dreamt about empty walls. I don't know more. The other turned his face at last. What does that mean? I suppose you felt it as a drepressing dream. I felt the little hairs rise in my neck while reading.

    Grethe

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  18. Grethe, It left me unsettled. And it was a bit depressing. I've shaken it now, I think. I hope. Thanks for your thoughts around it.

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  19. Quite a balance here it seems between what we think we have or don't have and what we may wish or want. This dream is classic in the sense that it represents both our brain sorting things out and our spirit seeking redemption. Beautifully written as if I were there with you.

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  20. Hey Bill, Very interesting insight here. Thank you. Very much.

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  21. How interesting, Teresa, and strange for me to read it here as I recall a vivid dream I had on Friday night. I dream in "spurts" as well; at least in dreams I remember. Yours in so vivid here.

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  22. Penny, Recently, my dreams have become more vivid again, when I remember them. I wondered if it had to do with the equinox. Now, I'm thinking about blogging about this notion of dreams I've been carrying around... Not ready to blog about my (dead) parakeet yet... LOL

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